“football”
I was bored with working.
Which does happen to me from time to time.
So I chucked on the television and decided to watch some sport.
Due to the sucky ass weather there was no 2020 game to watch, so I watched another sport.
It was called “football”, it’s a lot like Soccer.
The match was between Northern Ireland, you know the cool violent ones.
And Scotland, where all the heroin addicts live (well the ones not in Australia).
It was a friendly, which means no one gets hurt, or shot.
This “football” is pretty big in the UK.
The players are pretty well known, although strangely, not as well known as their WAGS.
The men that play this sport, apparently women play too, but just not on TV,
The premier league is played by 4 teams.
The rest of the teams are known as not the big 4 sides, and if they are nice to the teams in the premier league they can travel to Continental Europe to play “football” for a few weeks a year.
Also this sport is played between nations, and although over here in England they are not very good at the sport.
Unlike cricket they are not allowed to use the excuse that they are just being nice to the colonies by losing, because lots on non commonwealth countries play “football”.
Also unlike cricket no one seems to score in this sport, but the crowds seem to prefer that, as they are already so drunkenly excited that actual scoring sometimes propels them towards violent orgies.
It is not a physical contact sport, but if someone does get ear another person, the aforementioned player will dive to make sure he doesn’t actually get struck.
Due to the low scoring, draws are quite common, but since scoring is not important, no one minds.
It is a very interesting sport, although if you want to visit a game I would suggest taking a book.


Ah, the draw. The draw has a special resonance for those of us who used to do the pools.
“do the pools” are you talking about peeing in pools?
The pools. Pools. Football pools. Gambling. You got the most points for a score draw.
if you guessed 10 score draws successfully, you won a share of a million pound.
That all stopped, when the lottery came about though.
4-1 in Zagreb!
We will win World Cup!
But last week we were crap!
That is a stereotype of a typical England fan.
:)
Ah yes, on form now, one of the best in all of Europe, and it’s because the players have been banned from having chips apparently! :D