literally another aussie in london

Coleist

I have the misfortune to live in a place where the X Factor is shown.

Luckily for me the good part of the X Factor is happening at the moment, you know where the shit people are on.

One of the hosts though is Cheryl Cole, and she is causing me concerns.

I can’t understand her.

Not even a little bit.

When I first heard her speak, I thought she was speaking French with a penguin accent.

And I can understand Geordies, if that’s how you spell it, so its not that.

It’s just her, it’s a whole new language and accent she has acquired.

When she says something generic like, “You guys are great, you’re the best group we have seen today”.

I hear “YoYo’s tire cheap, door the zesty soup beehive to gene bay”.

Now I know this is my problem, it can’t be hers, in her whole life she has been speaking, and I assume people have understood.

Although I do have a theory for this too.

Men can’t understand here, but they don’t care cause she is pretty hot, so they just nod and pass her bite size chocolates.

And women can’t understand her, but they assume she is a bitch because she is pretty hot, and ignore her in general.

So somehow I have found a glitch in the matrix.

You seeing being famous isn’t that hard, you don’t even need to know the language, although we already knew that, George Dubya has taught us.

My only question is what did she really say when the Preacher said, “will you take this footballer to be your husband”, I’m betting she said “Igloo”.

October 2, 2008 - Posted by Jrod | living in london | accents, cheryl cole