a racist, but a knowing one
I spent time with an Englishman at a pub recently.
Good bloke.
It was St Patrick’s day, he bought my green beer.
Dick head.
The pub was packed so we had to share a table with a South African, an old military man.
The guy had a lot of stories, and was a delight to talk to.
But it didn’t take long for him to become just a little bit racist.
It all started when my mate asked me how i was going without the word Paki.
For those who don’t know i tried to reclaim the word Paki as in Australia we call Pakistanis Pakis, because we nickname like that.
Not for racist purposes like the English use Paki.
Anyway, this started the Older South African on a rant against PCness.
Which is fine, but it eventually culminated in him telling us a story of how he called an American woman a nigger (the er infliction, not the a infection) in front of coffee coloured children.
He actually said nigger and coffee coloured children in a packed bar, a bar packed with people, in London, a bar in London with people everywhere.
My mate, someone who had earlier called himself a feminist, and whom political correctness is just part of his general politeness, went paler than his general ginger paleness.
For me it just backed up my oft held saying, talk to a white South African long enough, and they will eventually make you think they are a racist.
I hate the theory, but I hate it more that it happens to be true so often.
They aren’t all racists, but it just seems everytime i get into a conversation with one, they just eventually put in a small comment that makes you think they are.
This wasn’t that sort of conversation, the man was using the word nigger, he wasn’t hiding behind semantics.
But later on he said something that gave me hope for South Africa.
He was talking about South Africa’s future, and he said some thing along the lines of (i was a bit pissed by this point), “the future is the young people, I am an old racist, i will always be, but the future is with the young South Africans they are growing up without our crap”.
This was a man who trained people in riot control, wrote papers against the ANC, had used the word nigger in a crowded London bar, and yet had the intelleuct to know he was wrong, and had faith in the young people.
And he never bought me a green beer.


Up until about a fortnight ago, I worked with a person who was openly, massively racist.
I had the frightening realisation that a lot of the comedians and TV programmes that I think are funny which knowingly making racist jokes in order to poke fun at racists, he took at face value. What if I’M the one who’s wrong?
I’d say you are wrong.
Wrong about being wrong?
Wrong.
A friend of mine had a South African schoolfriend who was named Purdey, after the gun. I’m sure you can guess that family’s politics. (Apparently, little Purdey’s mother described the first free elections as “A black day for South Africa”). It has become my maxim never to trust people who name their offspring after firearms..
What happened a fortnight ago, King Cricket? Did the racist man have some kind of epiphany?
Sadly not and that’s the worst part. I can’t honestly see him ever thinking differently.
He was fired. Not for being racist, but for not really doing his job. It seems the open and genocidal racism was tolerable.
This isn’t a funny or heartwarming story, but being stuck with someone like that for eight hours a day is far from funny or heartwarming.
Back in 1997 I was on a plane to Uganda and sat next to a young South African policeman. As we ascended to the heavens he smiled broadly and waxed lyrical about the “rainbow nations”. The complimentry minitures kicked in a couple of hours later and he was booming about “fecken kaffirs” and “cocken blecks” To be fair, several of his mates had been killed in the townships but it was interesting to see the change, because he’d been really, genuinly *trying*. It happens a lot, it’s ingrained. I think it must be like getting me to vote Tory, they might come out with policys that would bring about world peace and get me happy massages, but I just couldn’t bring myself to to it.