literally another aussie in london

The curb of death

London doesn’t have alot of space.

Especially inner London, and some things can’t be helped because of this.

One is how close the buses get to the curb.

It is scary close.

Due to my general hate of people, I like to stand walk as far away from them as possible.

This leads me to the curb.

And the curb leads me to almost getting hit by a bus daily.

I have no idea how I haven’t been killed yet, by all rights I could have died 15 times.

I must admit though, this near death experience does wake me up, i will be wandering along, thinking about how cricketers have sex, and suddenly there is a bright red double decker bus so close all my orifices open at once.

It’s not just me either, I have had the same conversation with other aussies, kiwis and saffas, all of us have been trapped to close to the curb and haf to duck the mirror and feared for our lives at times.

Buses are dangereous, even when no one is getting stabbed on them. Like the bus drivers back home, these drivers aren’t the safest drivers ever, I was on a bus that ran into a crane.

A big motherfucking crane, there was no way yoy couldn’t have seen it, IT WAS A BIG MOTHER FUCKING CRANE.

I was downstairs and towards the back and saw us getting pretty close, but the driver should have been warned by the girl screaming upstairs, but instead the big bang and the fact he was stuck was what struck a chord with him.

If bus drivers can be crap enough to run into big mother fucking cranes how can we trust them to not go 1 foot to the left jump the curb and kill all the anitpodes in sight?

We can’t.

But havening said that, if my choice is walkling closer to people, or death by bus, I might still roll the dice with the bus drivers.

April 8, 2009 Posted by Jrod | living in london | buses | 4 Comments