Love poems are for wankers
Yesterday I got married.
All went well.
I will try and give you the highlights over the next few days.
To start with quite a few people from the wedding wanted a copy of the poem I wrote for the wedding.
Here it is, for better or worse.
“You know I think love poems are for wankers
But here I am writing one for you
You know I hate to be anywhere but Melbourne
But I’m in London for you
You know I love Natalie Portman
But I have let her go for you
You know I hate to go without my hat
But I left it home for you
You know I’d rather sit on my couch
But here I stand with you
You know that I hate Alec Stewart
But I’m ignoring his painting for you
You know I hate getting permission
But I got it for you
You know I hate readings like this
But I can forget that for you
You know I hate to cook or clean
But I do them for you
You know I’d rather take the piss
But I’m being semi serious for you
You know I hated the idea of marriage
But here I am marrying you”
The story around the actual reading of the poem is pretty cool.
A ginger mate of mine was asked to read the poem.
Over a drunken session I had asked him to read a poem I had written for the wedding. He agreed.
Problem is he didn’t remember.
In fact all he remembered was me giving him shit about another reading he gave (and the trumpet he refused to play) at a previous wedding.
So when the poem was sent to him, he assumed it was a joke, and sent back a sarcastic message which we thought was an agreement to read the poem.
When his name was called you have never seen a person more afraid.
At first he didn’t know whether to get up or not.
Then when he finally did he had the look of a man walking to his death.
He quietly said, I have forgotten to bring a printed copy of the poem (good cover story) I said he had ruined the wedding, and the best man went got the spare copy.
Being that he had never practised reading the poem before he did a great job.
Ginger guys are great under pressure.
EDIT: This poem was approved by the registrar. Funny stuff.
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TOP poem and TOP delivery!
You trusted a jinner with these most important words? Heroic!
Lovely sentiments – but where is the stanza about Nice Bryce and Dirk?
You big soft girl, Jrod.
Lovely.
You have redeemed the name of Australian wedding poetry after Bec Cartwright’s effort singlehandedly destroyed its good name.
Lovely indeed. Nice Bryce and Dirk aren’t mentioned here, but Nice Bryce had his moment during the speeches, and Dirk played a special role in the honeymoon.
Softie.
Boo!
Still, good luck mate!