literally another aussie in london

Bus Drivers

Dear fucken bus drivers of London,

Fuck you.

Really.

Cheers

Jrod

I have had enough of these motherfuckers.

Let me tell you the story from the other day.

Was in Brixton with my family who were over for the wedding. We were waiting for a bus, and it is when of those places where all the buses go straight down Brixton Road, but the bus stops are 50 or so yards apart.

I see a bus go to the far stop, and I run down to catch it. My cousin and my father (two replacement knees, a shit back, and a bung hip) follow down behind me.

I jump on, and stand in the doorway so the guy can’t shut the bus doors.

He decides to shut them anyway, smashing my elbow and as he shuts them he starts driving off.

Not after he shuts them mind you, but as.

He drives all of 2 metres to the red light, doesn’t even get fully out of the bus lane, and stops.

I go up to his glass booth made of ivory.

“What are you doing, I have other people coming on.”

“I can’t open the doors now, it is against procedure.”

“Is it in the procedure to shut the door on someone standing there? They’re right at the door, just let them in.”

“Can’t at a red light.”

“Don’t give me that shit, when you shut the door on me you didn’t fucken care, just open it up and I’ll get off”

“I can’t, I’ll get in trouble”.

“And you won’t for fucking smashing my elbow.”

“I’ll let you off at the next stop.”

“We’re still at this fucking stop.”

“Regulations (inaudible mumbling).”

“Fuck off, look at my elbow.”

“There is noth…”

“Just fuck off you fucking arrogant cunt, sit in your fucking elitist booth and be a dickhead”.

Then I stormed down to the other exit, waited for the bus to leave the stop.

When I got to the next stop, the doors opened, and I slammed my other elbow onto the door as I left.

Then I remembered to call the two aussies who are new to London and were stuck in Brixton trying to work out what the fuck went on.

NOTE: Not all bus drivers are wankers in London. But too fucken many are.

September 11, 2009 Posted by Jrod | living in london | buses | 4 Comments