literally another aussie in london

mystery in bicester

Recently I was playing cricket in a place called Bicester.

Bicester is a word that has been designed for people not from the UK to pronounce badly.

The train was reasonably full on the way there, but coming into Bicester station there seemed to be no real town to speak of. Just a station, and some roads.

I fully expected to get off with 3 or 4 other people and just wait for my lift. I was the only person on my carriage that was even getting off at Bicester.

When I did get off, the station suddenly turned into the busiest in the UK.

Most of the other carriages had hundreds of people getting off, mostly Asian (Asian Asian, not subbie Asian).

While I was trying to work out where I needed to go, they all just filed into a line at the bus stop, and then were ushered onto the bus one by one. When one bus was full, another would pull up like some Army drill and the people would continue to get on.

Eventually all the buses were full, and yet the people still stayed in the line, waiting to be taken to who knows where.

Then after 5 or 10 minutes more buses turned up and the whole thing started up again. Another train arrived, and they all still automatically knew what to do.

I was baffled. Other than a handful of locals, which is all I expected, I couldn’t see why all these people knew what to do, and where the hell they were being bussed.

Immediately I came up with the most logical explanation, this was a cult. There was no other explanation, these people were too well organised and behaved, what else would they be doing out here.

I got closer to them, and tried to listen to any conversations that would help me. Unfortunately few of them spoke in English, so that helped me very little.

Then I checked out the bus, and that is when I lost interest, it wasn’t a cult, it was for some super outlet shopping centre or something. Boring.

But, think about it, if you were running a cult, what would be a better cover than having a shopping mall in the middle of nowhere in some place that most people pronounce incorrectly.

Genius.

October 18, 2010 Posted by Jrod | living in london | shopping, trains | Leave a Comment