Sri Lankan album covers
While in Sri Lanka I took a few more than 8000 photos.
And this is because I was trying to take one that could end up on the cover of another artist’s, perhaps an alt-country band, album.
Here are my efforts.
Are you a moody coffee drinking song writer?
Are you singing about the end of the world?
Singing about love loves in a blues style?
Proving to the cynics that there is beautiful aspects of commercialism?
Is your band called geti?
Do you like fire and Elephants in the dark?
Want to show you are in a fancy hotel?
Hopefully there is something in their for a young artist looking for an album cover.
If not, I may start a band called geti.
Sri Lanka – the people
People always say how nice the people of Sri Lanka are.
Bullshit.
I found each and every one of them a complete asshole.
No, that is a lie.
I liked them.
They’re super.
People from hot places that aren’t over crowded are often the best, as they are so relaxed.
Sure they don’t always turn up when you need them, or give you all the info that you need, but it all works out.
So here are my favourite picks of the people of Sri Lanka.
This is some special riding.
My dad waved at these people, the dad looked suspicious, the little girl was confused, and the last girl got ready for her close up.
Look at how stylish this Monk was. Dude is enlightened, and he knows it.
This is the best face I have ever seen. I hope he knows it.
My uncle and his Sri Lankan doppelganger.
I love how this guy seems to be auditioning to model in a jean’s ad.
She was being given a speeding fine.
Now I get the sarong.
But of all the people in Sri Lanka we spent time with, none were as cool as Tissa. He was our driver, and a top bloke. Bonza, even. So here is my favourite picture of him. The backstory of this photo was that we got him a ticket to the Sri Lanka Vs India match, it was the first cricket game he had ever been too. I took this photo as he was telling us about it.
There are obviously heaps more, but you can see them on flickr if you feel the need.
in Sri Lanka – airport pick up
For the first time in my life i had to find my name on a board held by a driver.
I always assumed this would be easy, like it is in the movies.
It isn’t.
At Colombo there was about 50 guys all holding signs and all fighting with each other for space to show them.
And they were on both sides.
Plus, you had the added distraction of 11 hours of flying, and the sudden realisation of the heat coming in through the open door.
But the one thing that really made it hard was not one of these dudes held their sign still.
I mean come on, surely that is airport driver pick up training’s first lesson, if you hold the sign still, it is easier to read.
Eventually I found my dude, he had one tooth and a sign that read, “Jerood Kimber”.
It might not have been for me, but after a few too many minutes trying to find my guy, he was good enough for me.
in Sri Lanka – Duty free
When you arrive In Sri Lanka two things are right in your face, the presidents face and the captain of the cricket team’s , King Kumar, face.
The president is everywhere in Sri Lanka, which is a shame for Sri Lankans as he looks as much like Saddam Hussein as you can if you are Sri Lankan. Surely if you are putting your picture all over everything in the country you’d try to look less like a famous dictator of the last few years.
Once you go through customs, you make your way to duty free like you do at most airports, but the duty free at Colombo isn’t just perfume, grog and cigarettes, no, this place has white goods. Lots of white goods.
The first shop has washing machines, fridges, and all sorts of things that are huge and expensive.
At first I thought, what an odd thing to do, but seconds later I saw the genius.
Who wants half price liquor, when you can get a half price fridge?
The fridge will keep your liquor cold, it is perfection.
One family bought a fridge and a washing machine. I didn’t see if they took it away in a tuk tuk, but I can hope.
The whole fridges thing did make me think about duty free, what else can you have just inside the airport for cheaper than anywhere else in the country?
Cars, motorbikes, prostitutes, computers, swimming pool sized tubs of ice cream, the list is endless.
Sure, not all these things have duty on them, I suppose, but if you walked through an airport duty free place that had fridges, cars, bikes, prostitutes and colossal tubes of ice cream, would you ever stop talking about it?
That is marketing 101 my friends.
food blog
No, not my blog, I’ll stick with shit and toes, but my friend, Soph, has a food blog.
Now I find all foodies massive wankers, but I could live on party pies and dim sims (two Australian delicacies).
But Soph likes food, and if you also like food, I see no reason why you don’t go over there and read all about food.
The blog is called apicia, which is enough to make me eat cheese and vegemite sandwiches for life, but you should visit it.
sweet corn in peckham
A woman runs to a fruit and veg store. Actually she runs to the sweet corn section.
You have to ask why.
When she gets there, she takes her time.
Looking over here is a chubby young smoking dude as she looks over each sweet corn one at a time.
I feel at home, not because of the running for the sweet corn, which I may never understand, but because she is Black and he is Vietnamese.
In Footscray (my home back in Melbourne), that was the normal combination of humans.
Throw in some white drug addicts, and Peckham could do a more than passable interpretation of Footscray.
I was only there for a short time and I was offered pirated DVDS, saw two cases of road rage, one guy talking to himself and some screaming match that seemed to be more for therapy than anything else.
I felt right at home.
I did keep wondering about the sweet corn runner.
Why had she done it?
Had she then bought the sweet corn and then run home, before running around her kitchen and then running around the dining table to serve it.
Or was she just excited by the sweet corn, because she stopped rushing once she got there. She gave that sweet corn a proper physical before deciding on the few she liked.
I’m not a food guy, so maybe I don’t get it, but at that stage I hadn’t eaten for 24 hours due to my flight back from Sri Lanka, and all I wanted was a quarter pounder and two double cheese burgers.
I didn’t run, i just walked and ordered.
I might run for a late night bus, or if I needed a shit and was looking for a toilet, but I could never run for sweet corn.
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