literally another aussie in london

sorry grabby, no drugs for you

Where I live there is homeless dude who asks for money.

He might not be homeless, but he is in a wheelchair, and he does ask for money. He probably has a home.

Usually, like most people, I can’t wait to give money to a stranger can so they can fund their drug habit, but this dude really fucken annoys me.

It isn’t because I doubt he needs a wheelchair, it isn’t the fact he stinks of last years cricket gear, and it isn’t even the fact his hair often has food in it.

It’s because he grabs you when you give him money. Not on the cock or anything. Mostly the arm, or hand, and occasionally the shoulder.

But it’s still bad manners.

I’ve given you money so you don’t talk to me, touch me or make me really look at you, not so you can grab me and then drag your wheelchair along by holding onto my arm, that is a ride, you should pay me for that.

Not that everything he does is shit.

I’ve watched him with others, he does this trick where he gets them to shake his hand, then he drags them in close and asks for money. Letting them really feel the full force of him.

It is a great idea, except they have trouble getting him money with one hand, so he lets them go, and they bolt.

Sometime he follows them.

There is no better site than watching a well dressed person trying to out run a ratty dude in a wheelchair.

I’d pay him for the entertainment, but then we’d be back at the grabby business again.

My new Ashes book.

December 20, 2009 Posted by Jrod | living in london | beggars | Leave a Comment

do phone calls really cost 40p

One thing I have not seen so much of in London is beggars.

Sure there are a few, with little signs, sitting out of everyones way being ignored by people.

But there aren’t the beggars we have in Melbourne, the ones that if you stand still for longer than 12 seconds in the CDB you will get accosted.

I have stood in the one place for 10 minutes in Melbourne and have the same person ask me for money 3 times, the third time I asked him if he needed money for a memory aid.

In London I have only been approached twice, one for the oldie but a goodie, got any change line.

I refuse to give money to anyone who is that unimaginative.

The other day I got my first Melbourne type beggar.

This young girl who could hardly stand upright came over asking for 40p to make a phone call.

I asked her why she couldn’t call reverse charges, she looked at me oddly and walked away.

My second rule is not giving people money if they can’t give me a full and detailed bullshit story.

I don’t mind being bullshitted with, as long as it’s an intricate line of bullshit.

This girl had nothing.

Not long after that I was on the tube and a guy got on and did a whole speech about being poor and needing cash and such.

But I don’t count that as being accosted as he didn’t come up to me personally, and was much easier to ignore.

Compared with Melbourne, London goes alright for the beggars, if I only get accosted once a month I can live with that, in Melbourne you get accosted twice a day in the city.

My favourite ever beggar was in Memphis, he came up and said do you have any money, I said no, and he said I’ll be honest with you, I just wanna get a beer.

So I bought him a beer, see honesty is the best policy.

September 15, 2008 Posted by Jrod | living in london | beggars | 8 Comments