Where the heart is
No, this is not about Natalie Portman.
This is about the new football, soccer, team that is in Melbourne.
They are called Melbourne Heart. I assume because of a bet.
If the name is stupid, they have taken stupid to a whole new level with their song.
I must admit I have not listened to it all, but only because I just couldn’t.
I mean, for fuck’s sake, it starts with a fucken heart beat.
A heartbeat.
The whole thing is some sort of sick meta-joke that people will only work out in 20 years, like we did with the 80s.
I wouldn’t care normally, sporting teams have been calling themselves stupid things for years, but this one has Melbourne in it, so I expected a higher standard.
This is the shit song.
There are two A league teams in Melbourne, the other one is called Victory.
I never really warmed to them, until I heard this song.
John Terry is a bastard
Until a few days ago if someone asked if I knew who John Terry was I would have said, “is he a Tory who got caught shagging cats”. My next guess would have been a footballer.
He is a footballer, and from what I can gather he did something people don’t like.
I am doing my best not to find out and don’t plan on losing any money on partybets.com based on his career.
What really annoys me is that at my tube station people are always going through the exit to get to the platform, so that when you are leaving the station there are always people almost bumping into you as they run for the train you have just got off.
There is entry tunnel right next door, it is no quicker going through the exit tunnel, and you won’t bump into anyone.
But people are fucking useless motherfuckers, and instead of thinking they just run around bumping into people.
How can I hate John Terry and his potential car fucking ways when i have such hardship in my life?
Football
I watched a football match in a pub.
A soccer football match.
And I loved it.
I ate a steak, drank some beer and watched Liverpool V Chelsea.
It was a Champion’s League match, and people seemed excited about it.
But everytime I am at a pub someone seems excited at a soccer match.
This one seemed actually exciting to me.
Its not that i hate soccer, i think its a top sport, its just the bullshit that goes with it.
But sitting there in a pub, watching a game where the momentum keeps shifting, with two pretty good sides playing was awesome.
I got very emotionally involved.
Not in either team, but I just wanted it to be close, which mean I was barracking (supporting) both teams at various time.
Which is wrong, but right.
I may even watch another.
True.
And Aussie Guus coaches Chelsea.
So i knew stuff about him.
“football”
I was bored with working.
Which does happen to me from time to time.
So I chucked on the television and decided to watch some sport.
Due to the sucky ass weather there was no 2020 game to watch, so I watched another sport.
It was called “football”, it’s a lot like Soccer.
The match was between Northern Ireland, you know the cool violent ones.
And Scotland, where all the heroin addicts live (well the ones not in Australia).
It was a friendly, which means no one gets hurt, or shot.
This “football” is pretty big in the UK.
The players are pretty well known, although strangely, not as well known as their WAGS.
The men that play this sport, apparently women play too, but just not on TV,
The premier league is played by 4 teams.
The rest of the teams are known as not the big 4 sides, and if they are nice to the teams in the premier league they can travel to Continental Europe to play “football” for a few weeks a year.
Also this sport is played between nations, and although over here in England they are not very good at the sport.
Unlike cricket they are not allowed to use the excuse that they are just being nice to the colonies by losing, because lots on non commonwealth countries play “football”.
Also unlike cricket no one seems to score in this sport, but the crowds seem to prefer that, as they are already so drunkenly excited that actual scoring sometimes propels them towards violent orgies.
It is not a physical contact sport, but if someone does get ear another person, the aforementioned player will dive to make sure he doesn’t actually get struck.
Due to the low scoring, draws are quite common, but since scoring is not important, no one minds.
It is a very interesting sport, although if you want to visit a game I would suggest taking a book.
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