black steaming gangs
“Get out down to South London sometime moron and and see how long you last with your snowy white anti racist credentials. Funny how these black steaming gangs tend only to attack whites (often alone or in pairs and doing no more than going home after a night out probably having socialised with people of colour themelves).”
This comment was left on the blog Enemies of Reason, a sarcastic take on the Daily Mail and other pinnacles of Journalism.
I live in South London. Inner South London. Just off Brixton Rd.
I’ve still never been steamed, or seen steaming, in South London, and in general I’m in South London everyday.
It should also be mentioned that I am white.
Really white.
So white I almost glow in the dark.
I make ginger people giggle.
Every day I walk around South London, the dodgy bits, and the good bits. I play basketball in the park, go for a jog or to the cricket nets in a much dodgier park, walk at night, and generally live my life.
Never have I seen any violence.
The only violence I know of in my area was a kid being stabbed by another kid, both were black.
I have been burgled here, but I’ve been burgled on three continents by many different ethnicities and skin tones.
So I have no idea what this guy was going on about.
I’m not sure if he is from South London, or even from Earth.
I’m sure steaming does exist, but if I travel by bus and tube, plus walking, all around South London all the time, and I have never seen it, I doubt people visiting for an afternoon for proof of people of colour (as he so respectfully describes them) mugging random whites.
Sometimes when I read about London it conjurers up images of some rat infested city where everyone has a knife and no white person is safe, then I leave my front door and walk to Brixton Rd and see a white woman walking her baby.
The baby does not have a knife.
the war on knives
Seems like a silly thing to have, but London is trying its best.
Since the war on drugs and war on terror went so well, London now wants to stop all the stab stab business that i have briefly mentioned in my bus post.
It seems parents are getting a bit upset that their children keep getting stabbed to death, and they want it to stop.
Fair enough.
But why pick on knives?
Guns i get, but knives, surely if you can kill someone with a knife, you are also willing to smash their head into the ground until they die, or other kinds of violence that result in homicide.
And how do we stop knives?
Should we ban the swiss, steak and cheese as well?
Knives are probably the easiest weapon you can get your hands on, hence all the stab stab.
But regardless of the knife culture, isn’t the bigger issue here not the knives, but theg ang and youth violence in general.
And by having rallies, specials on tv and talkback radio, i don’t think you are really speaking to the knife people directly.
Perhaps if Dizzie Rascal started rapping about putting down the knife and picking up the spork, that could work.
Or if Girls aloud did a nude calender shoot without any knives on them, the young uns would get it.
“Look at ‘er bangers, no knives izzit”.
Ofcourse the only true way to win the war on knives is to get the forks involved.
They have been overshadowed too long, and now it’s payback time.
double decker violence
When I first got to London every bus I rode on I got on top.
Not out of some romantic bullshit tourist crap, I did that years ago.
Because there are always seats available up there.
I told this to one of my friends in London, and he said yeah, that’s because everyone gets stabbed upstairs.
Now this still hasn’t stopped me from sitting up there, because I’ll be damned if I am standing for 30 minutes.
If I have to take the odd knife, I can live with that, or not, as the case may be.
What I have been told from a few Londoners is that the double decker is dying.
With all the stabby stabby, and the fact Londoners are just not sitting up top anymore the double decker is being phased out for long super buses with rubber middles.
Since I have no emotional or cultural bond to them, I don’t feel sad.
I do however like that something as simple as a few knife crimes can change a cultural landmark of a city.
Most Americans know nothing about London, but they know about the buses.
People often say revolutions are not possible in this day and age.
But if a few kids with swiss army knives can make this sort of difference, there is nothing we can’t do.
I just now need to work out what crimes will make the government invest in a plan to get air conditioning into the tube.
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